By MATT VAPOR
The Black Mask
Unmasking the Effects of Domestic Abuse, Violence & Homelessness.
The Black Mask is Matt Vapor’s upcoming first book.
The Black Mask “unmasks” the effects of childhood domestic abuse and violence, youth violence, educational disadvantage and homelessness.
For Matt Vapor, these effects manifested in a Black Mask of terror, which he used to mask his trauma, but to also hide his true emotions from the outside world.
This book explores Matt’s first hand experiences of domestic abuse and violence, youth violence, educational disengagement and disadvantage, leading to home becoming homeless at 16 and sleeping rough.
It’s a unique insight into dealing with the lasting effects of trauma and what it’s taken to remove the Black Mask
Matt Vapor
When I decided to write this book, I ultimately wanted an easy way to convey how I felt at my lowest, most volatile, points. A representation of everything I felt, experienced and regretted. For whatever reason, the image of a balaclava came into my head, a mask that’s instantly recognisable with conflict. It’s a representation of how central conflict is to the abuse experience, be it inward or outward.
However, it’s representation for me is not of conflict alone. The Black Mask I wore, and that I want you to imagine, is one that I could also hide behind. Something that would scare people so they’d leave me alone. A way that would ensure I’d never show my vulnerability, while reflecting the fear and anger that I felt inside. A mask to conceal the real me. It’s the manifestation of the terror I felt during the worst years of my life, and a terror that I would replicate because I knew no better.
This mask doesn’t form overnight, instead it’s woven throughout childhood and starts to be worn in adolescence and becomes more focal once we reach adulthood. It’s as much a product of the violence as it is of the silence. It’s one that’s at the heart of gendered family violence, and I’ve learned this message first hand.
